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Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." MLF

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January 5, 2010 at 6:28 pm by SlimySlime in - Love [+]

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. MLF

read comments (0) I agree, your life is a failure. (3) - You deserved that one! (0)
January 5, 2010 at 6:17 pm by SlimySlime in - Kids [+]

Today, I was uploading photos to my Facebook, when I suddenly realised that I accidentally uploaded a naked photo of myself. Panicking, I rushed to delete it, just as my computer crashed majorly. Few hours later, 400 "friends" have already "liked" the photo. MLF

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November 12, 2009 at 5:28 am by Anonymous in - Miscellaneous [+]

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. MLF

read comments (0) I agree, your life is a failure. (2) - You deserved that one! (7)
November 12, 2009 at 5:28 am by Anonymous in - Miscellaneous [+]

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not". MLF

read comments (1) I agree, your life is a failure. (9) - You deserved that one! (0)
November 12, 2009 at 5:26 am by Anonymous in - Work [+]

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. MLF

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November 12, 2009 at 5:25 am by Anonymous in - Miscellaneous [+]

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. MLF

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November 12, 2009 at 5:24 am by Anonymous in - Health [+]

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. MLF

read comments (0) I agree, your life is a failure. (9) - You deserved that one! (1)
November 12, 2009 at 5:23 am by Anonymous in - Miscellaneous [+]

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. MLF

read comments (0) I agree, your life is a failure. (6) - You deserved that one! (0)
November 12, 2009 at 5:22 am by Anonymous in - Miscellaneous [+]

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. MLF

read comments (0) I agree, your life is a failure. (7) - You deserved that one! (2)
November 12, 2009 at 5:21 am by Anonymous in - Love [+]