Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. MLF
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. MLF
Today, I got very frustrated with my computer because the music that was playing wouldn't turn off, no matter how many times I pressed mute. After about 15 minutes I noticed I was listening to my iPod. MLF
Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. MLF
Today, I was uploading photos to my Facebook, when I suddenly realised that I accidentally uploaded a naked photo of myself. Panicking, I rushed to delete it, just as my computer crashed majorly. Few hours later, 400 "friends" have already "liked" the photo. MLF